Anyone who served in the military can tell you one fundamental truth about leadership – lead by example or forget about being respected as a leader. How to lead by example has been a topic of much of my leadership focus in the military.
Among soldiers, who live in an organized, structure-based environment, there is little tolerance for poor leadership. It does happen, oh yes, but leaders who do not lead by example are quickly exposed as such, and even in situations when an average soldier can do very little about it they are followed grudgingly and cannot translate their efforts into real results. They sabotage their own work.
This concept of leading by example is just as important in the civilian, business and social world. Here, just like in the military, you need to motivate and inspire your followers if you wish to achieve real success as a leader, and very little can give you as much leverage as being an example to your charges. Sure, there are many other skills you also need to succeed, but only those leaders who truly “walk the walk” reach the heights of leadership that we all aspire to. Let me then go on record and officially make a statement:
You cannot be a good leader without leading by example. It’s just not going to happen.
Period.
WHAT IS LEADING BY EXAMPLE
Before we dive into how to lead by example, let us quickly define what leading by example really means. Unlike telling someone to do something, or directing them verbally, leading by example means influencing by doing.
A leader who leads by example is aware of what his or her actions look like to others and takes a great care to ensure that they are correct and morally appropriate to the environment they are in. The leading part comes through inspiration. A leader who leads by example acts in a way that inspires others to follow him or her and influences others to emulate the same standard.
HOW TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE
There are many ways in which you – as a leader – can lead by example. You can come up with your own standards by evaluating your daily behavior and imagining what it would look like if you were working for yourself… and then making any appropriate changes. There are three ways, however, that I want to specifically focus on today. These three ways are among the most influential behaviors available to you and will greatly increase your positive impact among your followers. Let’s dig in.
1. FOLLOW ALL RULES
As a leader, it is your job to enforce the rules set by your organization, or to set those rules yourself and hold your followers accountable to them. And yet, many leaders see themselves above those same rules. Have you ever caught yourself momentarily sweeping a rule under the rug, just because you could? I know I have. After all, as a leader, it’s easy to cut corners.
Maybe you took half an hour longer for lunch than the rest of your team. Maybe you went home at three, even though the work day stopped at four, because really… who could stop you? Maybe you walked through a construction site without a hard hat, while you required hard hats of all your employees. And maybe you made a cell phone call from a no-cell-phone area.
These seemingly small transgressions can have a massive effect on your credibility as a leader. What’s more, they have an even greater effect on your team. The truth is that the people you lead are smart. They notice. They may not tell you they notice, but they do and they surely discuss it among themselves. With time, their respect of you lowers, their level of dedication to the project wanes and their motivation to follow the same rules goes down. And your ability to enforce those rules and require compliance will disappear, because you will have lost the moral ground to do so.
“I don’t know any other way to lead but by example.” – Don Shula
Instead, resolve yourself to obeying all the rules, even to the letter if you have to. Be an example. This goes double for any rules that you set yourself. Obey those twice as hard. You are a leader, but you are still a member of the team. Rules apply to all. The key here is not to overdo it an become a mechanical walking codex, but to genuinely strive to adhere to all regulations and be humble about it. Your followers will notice. And in addition to having a moral ground to carry on your responsibility of holding others to the same standard, you will now lead by example and inspire others to want to follow you and to do the same.
2. ADMIT YOUR OWN MISTAKES
As humans, we have a natural tendency to want to appear flawless. This tendency is magnified when you become a leader. Suddenly, all eyes are on you and all expectations rest on your shoulders. You don’t want to disappoint and when mistakes happen, you may worry that you suddenly appear unsuitable for the job. For fear of no longer appearing authoritative, you may wish to deny a mistake or two, or worse… blame someone else.
Bad idea.
Let’s put it bluntly. If you make a mistake, your followers will know. Period. Not admitting to it just makes you look non genuine, weak and insecure. And if on top of it you punish your people for their mistakes, you are now a bad leader. This – in turn – will create a culture where your followers no longer like working for you and may even be fearful or anxious when doing their jobs, resulting in more mistakes. And you will have created it all!
Instead, remember – you don’t have to be the smartest person in the room. Your job is not to always be right but to lead in consultation with your team. If at the end of the day mistakes were corrected and the right final action was taken, you have done your job.
Many leaders are instinctively afraid to admit to mistakes, but the process doesn’t have to be terrifying. There is no need to make a public production of it. Just let your people know, perhaps in a formal setting during a meeting or in an informal one, that you were wrong about something and need to correct it. You can even solicit opinions of your staff on how to correct any mistakes that are large. Be genuine and humble about it. And you will notice something remarkable. People will forgive you, because you are being authentic.
What’s more, they will probably come to your rescue. And your authority may even rise as a result, creating an environment where others will be less afraid of making mistakes of their own and become more creative and inspired.
3. SHARE THE HARDSHIPS WITH YOUR FOLLOWERS
This is perhaps a the most important element of leading by example. Simply put, don’t have it easier than your team. Resist all temptation.
As a leader, it is easy to cut corners and enjoy a more privileged lifestyle than those you lead. After all, you are the boss and few people will challenge you directly if your chairs are always the most comfortable, if your car is always the most luxurious, or if you are lounging comfortably in an cushy, heated office, while your team is working hard in a cold rain.
It’s easy for a leader to find excuses as to why they should not have to put up with the same hardships that his or her team does. And while some of those excuses may be legitimate and a certain level of separation between the leader and the team is necessary, when those situations are taken a step too far, you have stopped leading by example.
At this point, your followers will see the easily avoidable disparity between their condition and yours and will rightfully loose their respect for you, as well as their motivation and desire to go on. If you have been in a situation like this at some point in your life and can recall a boss or an authority figure who did just that, you can probably remember how it made you feel. Few things can erode respect as profoundly as this.
So, what should you do? Share the hardships. Resist any urge to have it easy. True, that chair of yours may have to be tad bigger than those of your team, if only to establish a visible chain of leadership, and you may have to spend some time in an office when it’s raining, because your administration duties may require it. But the moment you are done with your administration work, put on a rain jacket and join your team in the rain, if only for a while. Likewise, if everyone only has a stool to sit on, don’t be lounging in an armchair. If the building is cold and everyone is freezing in it, don’t be the only one with a personal heater.
Whenever possible, put yourself at the same hardship level as your team. If not possible, spend at least a portion of the time with them, if only to show them – and yourself – that you are not above it all. And be genuine. Yes, as a boss, you can take it easier than your team. Few will challenge you. But if you resist the temptation, you then stand a chance of earning a level of respect from your subordinates that you cannot gain any other way – a true, heartfelt appreciation that fosters trust and that inspires others. And that is worth fighting for.
“If there is such a thing as good leadership, it is to give a good example. I have to do so for all the Ikea employees.” – Ingvar Kamprad
BE A LEADER WHO LEADS BY EXAMPLE!
Leading by example is one of the most powerful tools in your leadership arsenal… and one most often overlooked. It is this particular skill that can make a difference between a struggling and an inspirational leader. So much of what you do as a leader comes from how you handle yourself. You are the focus of everyone’s attention when you are around, so it’s amazing what you can accomplish by simply being an example to others.
So, challenge yourself to study other leaders and see which ones lead by example and which ones don’t. Notice how you feel about both types. Then, resolve yourself to lead your followers by example and notice how they respond to you and how they change their behavior based on not what you say, but what you do. You will be surprised.
And to learn more about how to lead by example and how to truly influence your followers by action and self-awareness, read our book How to Be a Leader. It is full of these types of lessons, along with steps on how to put them in practice. For all new and aspiring leaders, as well as those who may have missed a few skills along the way, How to Be a Leader is a core manual for strong, genuine leadership.
I am an architect and I hope to be the leader of my team someday. I do see many leaders that I don’t respect and can’t force myself to respect them.
I don’t have knowledge of how to be a successful leader yet. But I really enjoyed reading your article. I will observe my leaders and try to see if there are those 3 ways of being leaders by example. Observing is also learning what you like in your leaders and what you want to adopt to yourself!
Thanks for such a useful article!
Hi there, Leading by example is such an important aspect of life, not only being in a position of leadership. Yes it certainly applies to leaders, but also to so many others as well. Just being a parent, means that your kids will see if you are doing something that you are telling them not to do, and then you do it yourself.
This is such a great reminder of also having to admit if you made a mistake and to be part of the team, you have to also share hardships. Thank you.
Interesting that you should mention parenting. When we think leadership, we often imagine groups, teams and organizations. But parents are leaders too. Very true.